After the love-in that was my previous feature entry – How Do You Pick Your Favourite Driver or Team – I feel that it’s time to even the score by unveiling my picks for the 5 Most Annoying People in the Paddock.
Two things to be kept in mind – this is all tongue in cheek, so please don’t get TOO upset with me, and also, if you have better, more annoying picks then please do let me know in the comments section and I will consider them for additional/revised lists.
No part of F1 is safe – we’re talking drivers, Team Principals, engineers, commentators, journalists, presenters, columnists…anyone.
Perhaps we could start a poll and then put together a comprehensive list of irritating F1 personalities…
I’m getting carried away, clearly.
So, without further ado;
5. Martin Brundle.
This will probably not go down well with the F1 purists among you, but his gridwalk is one of the most irritating things to have ever appeared on the BBC, let alone within Formula One broadcasting.
If I was an F1 driver, getting ready to race, and that absolute buffoon came blustering up to me with his inane questions that he doesn’t even bother to listen to the answers to, his quick-fire, “hurry up, you’re wasting my time” attitude and general lack of respect for anyone – drivers, fellow pundits, engineers etc – I’d have to work very hard not to strangle him.
However, his commentating is top-notch, he’s very knowledgeable and seems like a nice enough guy, so he’s last on my list.
4. Nick Fry
There is not much I can say about Nick Fry that is coherent or constructive. So instead, I will settle for this -
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS GRINNING, NICK FRY?
WHAT ARE YOU SO ETERNALLY SMUG ABOUT?
If anyone knows why Nick Fry is so constantly and incessantly smiley, please let me know. It’s incredibly unsettling.
3. Nico Rosberg
Once asked in an interview if he would shave his hair off to get into a championship winning car, he answered “no”. I kid you not (perhaps that’s why he didn’t get the McLaren drive?).
Once asked to share some important lessons he had learned as an F1 driver, he answered “sunglasses and watches are the most important accessories for any man”.
Firstly – wrong, Nico. Secondly – is that all you have learned from being a Formula One driver? And people think he’s smart…
Often referred to by other drivers (Mark Webber) as “Britney” due to his blonde, flowing locks and inordinately pleased with himself for someone who is yet to win a race, Nico R gets a solid 3rd place.
2. Jonathan Legard
Number 2 on the list goes to the man who made F1 fans want James Allen back. When it was announced that Allen was being replaced, no-one really seemed to care who it was. The (slightly unfair) consensus was that they couldn’t find anyone worse.
WRONG.
Legard is a master in the Art of Stating the Obvious. A hard skill to master, he makes it seem easy, using it at every opportunity – “he’s coming round the corner”, “oh, he’s crashed” and the now infamous “so-and-so is pushing on now.”
What. Does. That. Even. MEAN??
He often interrupts the far superior Brundle with ridiculous questions and observations and he hasn’t quite mastered how to avoid awkward silences.
Add all that to his penchant for over-using drivers full names and he is a close number 1 on my list, but he was just beaten by the man they call….
1. Eddie Jordan
If he’s not telling TV audiences that there’s no need to worry, his sources have informed him that Massa took a bump on the chin and will be fine, he’s making ridiculous predictions or talking about Barichello and/or his old Jordan team as if they could have been the new Schumacher/Ferrari if it weren’t for some awfully bad luck.
He dresses like my Dad did in the ’70′s (before he realised he looked like a fool) and he seems to think he could be doing a better job as a driver/team principal/engineer/chequered-flag-waver/etc in any given circumstance.
His facts are often wrong, his over-excitement constantly leads to name and stat muddling (and not in a Murray Waker, charming way) and he is often rude to the legendary DC.
And yet…can we really imagine F1 coverage without him?
So there you have it.
My picks for the 5 Most Annoying People in the Paddock.
Who are your picks?
Don’t forget Schumacher is back! Massa too I think has become a little too “vociferous”.
Haha!! “vociferous” – so true!
Schumacher = a whole post unto himself. Which, no doubt will come once the season starts. Perhaps I’ll start a series entitled “Things Schumacher Has Done to Annoy Me Today” !!
I would add John Button to the list, for sure.
Haha, true, he is a goon a lot of the time! Also, methinks the time of the pink shirt is over. Time to find a new colour, Button Sr.
The pink shirt will clash with the grey/orange McLaren gear. At least Anthony Hamilton dresses nicely.
Oh yeah, I hadn’t thought about that! Ha, nightmare. He’ll have to rethink his whole wardrobe.
Anthony Hamilton might dress nicely but Lewis did not inherit the gene. He looks like he’s auditioning for a Little Bow-Wow video when he’s out of his team gear.
Martin Brundle – Ditto, I actually loved when he used to get Shooed away by everyone in ITV Grid Walk. He was so insulting @ Brazil’09 when he said, “We will try to get word from Debutant Kobayashi, but we are not sure if he can speak English”. For Crying out loud, every F1 driver these days has to spend time F1 approved Junior series (GP2,F2 WSR) and young drivers can’t survive if they cant communicate in ‘European Languages’ with their Engineers. Who was the last driver to jump into F1 car straight from Formula Nippon ?
John Button – For a) Pink Shirt b) Manpri, he looks ridiculous in that Manpri
Hamilton Sr – Looks as though someone has shoved S^&T down his throat
Lewis Hamilton – Every time he opens his mouth, PR disaster awaits. I sometimes think Lewis should be sent in confinement with Kimi (Mumbles) Raikonnen.
Legard – Yes, He single handedly boosted James Allen’s rating. James was most loathed commentator on ITV team. Now everyone begs for him to return